Dear Sloane

Dear Sloane,

I can't believe that you are ONE! I have thought about your first birthday so many times over the last year. Mostly wondering if I would be able to survive a whole year of parenthood. Haha! I am so sad at how quickly the time is passing and how fast you are growing up, but so excited for what the future holds for you!

One year ago i saw you and held you for the very first time. It was truly one of the best moments of my life. I've thought about that day every single day since, and its one i wish i could relive over and over again. After pushing for over 3 hours the Dr. had to vacuum you out, you had the cord around your neck and you weren't breathing. (talk about a dramatic entrance!) It was one of the scariest moments of my life, so those first little cries were like music to my ears! The first time i held you i thought you were the most beautiful baby i had ever seen! (I still do!) and i couldn't get enough of all your dark hair! I think in that moment i had no idea how much my life would really change.

Those first few months were definitely some of the hardest of my life. I was exhausted beyond belief, paranoid, worn down, lost, confused and had a baby that cried ALL the time. (thanks a lot) We both shed a lot tears and most days i felt like the worst mom on the planet because it felt like all you did was cry haha. it's easy for me to laugh about it now, because slowly but surely we figured it out. In a way, we both grew together this past year. You learned a lot, and i learned a lot. In a lot of ways you taught me more than i taught you. You taught me to be more loving. More patient. More generous. More forgiving. To not only be a better mom, but a better wife, daughter, sister, and friend.

You are so sweet, silly, dramatic, independent, curious, feisty, loud and expressive, shy, smart and so so beautiful! Your beautiful blue eyes have literally stopped people in their tracks. But even more, I think its the beauty of your personality that shines through in everything you do. You have the sweetest little personality and most days i can't get enough of it

Each day i watch you learn and explore the world around you and i find myself getting so excited about the smallest things. I love watching you discover new things and get excited about everything and anything. You love to get into EVERYTHING! I'd say your favorite is getting into Scouts food and water bowls. You love to read books, and climb on your unicorn. You like being thrown in the air and when I sing you songs. You like to eat and love blueberries and Cheetos the most. You love to yell and bounce up and down and you love to take the lids off of things. Grandma is convinced that you are the smartest baby because if you want something you always figure out a way to get it.

You LOVE to crawl. Where ever we go, everyone always comments on what a fast crawler you are! It really is the funniest thing! Dad always says that if their was a crawling competition you would blow every other baby out of the water! We can never get you to slow down! I'm convinced that's why you haven't learned to walk yet, because crawling is so much faster haha.

You can never get enough of Scout. When she is outside you always stand up to the door to look out and watch her, and whenever we go on walks you always have an eye on her. You love to let her lick your face and sneak a few kisses in. You love to lay your head down on her soft hair and you LOVE to grab her hair and pull it out. haha we are still working on how to be soft. You love to feed her snacks, which Scout loves! Whenever we put you in your high chair Scout just sits and waits for you to lean over and give her a little taste of whatever you are having. When you wake up from a nap you look for her and get so excited to see her.

You love when dad gets home from work. You get the biggest smile on your face and can't crawl to him fast enough. One of my favorite memories is when you were a brand new baby and we didn't know how to get you to stop crying, dad would take you outside and walk around in the backyard with you until you would fall asleep. He could ALWAYS get you to stop crying. That being said.. it's really no secret that I am your favorite. haha! i mean.. i am the one who takes care of you all day, so i feel like it's fair!

Before you were born i read a quote that said something like, "having a child is like letting your heart walk around outside your body." This could not be more true! My heart is so happy when you are happy, and aches when you are sad. I am so thankful that Heavenly Father chose me to be your mom! You are a constant reminder of what is really important in this life. I hope you always know how smart and beautiful you are and how much i truly adore everything about you!

Happy birthday Sloanie!

Love, Mom


P.S. And to Matt- we survived! Somehow by some miracle, we made it through undeniably our hardest year together! You are an amazing dad and there is no one i would rather be on this adventure of parenthood with.