One Month of Sloane

I have so many feelings about our first month together. I won't lie, this last month has been with out a doubt the hardest month of my life and honestly, I cried a lot! Never have i felt so physically and emotionally exhausted. I'm not naive i knew being a mother was going to be difficult, but i never thought i would feel like this. Like I was a bad mom, or incapable of being a mother. Thats how i felt a lot of time, and it was really hard. There were a lot of times she would cry and i would do everything i could but i still couldn't comfort her. It made me feel like i couldn't take care of my own baby, or that i didn't know how to take care of my baby.. it made me feel like i wasn't a good mom. Sometimes i would be at my wits end and just totally done and it made me feel guilty, like i didn't deserve to be a mom because so many woman would do anything for a baby. My relationship with Matt suffered. After long days of Sloane fussing and crying all day i had nothing left to give to him at the end of the day, and that was hard on him and on me. You definitely need each others support, and in the end it has brought us even closer together.

Then there are days where Sloane was just the sweetest baby ever, and even when she's sad I love her more than I've ever known. There were definitely days i really enjoyed being a mom and I feel like after a month we are finally starting to kind of figure this whole parenting thing out and how to balance all of it. Our first month had a lot of ups and downs and being a mom is for sure the toughest thing mentally I've ever had to endure but i think we've turned a corner and things are definitely looking up in the Childs household. haha!

At one month old Sloane

- LOVES to be held.. like ALL the time
- loves to nuzzle her little face into my chest/armpit when she falls asleep
- loves wearing her little mittens
- LOVES the car
- loves to be swaddled
- hates being naked
- not even close to sleeping through the night
- is starting to get a little bald spot on the back of her head
- is learning to like the bath
- is starting to smile all the time
- doesn't love, but doesn't hate her pacifier
- always smells so good
- has the best eyelashes!!

more pictures from Sloane's first month.